I don’t hang out with white dudes who use mustache wax anymore bc it’s only a matter of time b4 they fall in love with me and find out I’m gay and write a song on their…idk..their fuckin harpsichord or banjo or ukulele about the girl from the forest who broke their heart but also they don’t even like hiking
i know this seems oddly specific & that’s bc it is
Okay now that I’ve finally quit Denny’s let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is
The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.
Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.
People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.
It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening.
Regular customers included:
A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject
A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”
An actual group of Neo-Nazis
An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”
I have more these are just off the top of my head
I can’t believe I forgot
two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not
I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said “No, I’m not a socialist”.
